"Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one."

Chronicle of a journey from youthful
know-it-all to old-fart astonishment.

For much of my now-getting-to-be long life I thought Sax Man Gerry Mulligan [right] originated the title above. He may well have but Bartlett's Quotations and all Google's assembled corollaries have no such reference. So while I try sticking to what I know to be true, it turns out maybe I misled myself and others. NOT "misspeak" as sundry Pols and other bullshit artists fashionably say these days. What I'm writing here is Yeah, I really WILL vote for Barack Obama this November! What pushed me over this particular edge was The Nation Magazine's Open Letter To Barack Obama on his FISA Court vote and Political Principles in general. "Well now," as SNL's Church Lady used to say, "isn't THAT special!" And, if I may add (In the imitation Bronx-Irish brogue of my 35-year buddy Mary Margaret Hogan) "Holy Jaysus Joomping Fooking Chroyst!!" http://www.thenation.com/doc/20080818/open_letter

On one hand I loathe Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, the Crazed Lady (above, Left) with the heat of 10,000 Suns. Given my druthers, Russ Feingold would be Dem Nominee. He's not. Luckily neither is Nixon in a Pants-Suit. Her loyalists are
now threatening to sit out '08 or worse because Princess Bird-Wing's Investiture was derailed by.....by (GASP!) A MAN!

Question: How the eff many times do y'all need a bitch-slapping by Drool-Buckets like Reagan through BSers like Hillo's Spine through a Casino Toad like Sheldon Adelson?

Way back when I shrunk the occasional head, my Shrinkees were generally women who'd had the Living Shi'ite slapped outta them repeatedly by guys who, somehow, were EVEN WORSE FATHERS than they were either husbands or boyfriends. Their excuses and rationalizations were endless, even brilliant, and I wasn't much good to any of the women. Then I asked: "Why are you teaching your kids and the kids they know that slapping around is just swell by you?" After that was game set and match and not a moment too soon. Never was that kinda Shrink. Mostly they left the Sumbitch for good. A few said "Maybe" and I referred em to good Shrinks ASAP. Never was the type. Hand-holding was/is for my Sweet Bride and for my kids. It's nice and all that but just not my style. Anything over five-minutes for any client and boredom kicks in like Colt-45 Malt Liquor aftertaste. Do right, get their check, say "Thanks," show 'em the and cash that damn check fast.

Obama hasn't shown me any more than he's shown you or anyone who isn't Tony Reszko - which is how Big-Boy Politics is played everywhere eapecially in the USA. His early campaign slogan "We Are The People We Have Been Waiting For!" sounded like the deliberately vacuous "We Are The People!" in Martin Scorcese's Taxi Driver. So yes, I hate giving the nation's worst Prez and, likely, first ever White House criminal enterprise One More Live Body or Five-Cents More than they've already looted from Proles-Like-Us. And please let's NOT FORGET Pelosi, Ried and the Loyal Enabling Opposition. But before 86ing THESE two Simps and their Blue-Dog Dem turd-sniffers, first things first! DON'T WITHHOLD YOUR VOTE BECAUSE THESE ASS-WIPES WITHHELD THEIRS! It's ALL YOU HAVE LEFT! Now that Karl Rove has $250-Million in petty cash to plant Dog Poo on your front door http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPOdtvy9GxY&feature=related courtesy of Casino Weasel Sheldon Adelson Your vote still might not be enough! In case my point eludes any One-Issue sensibilities, this is not the time for Angst und weltschmertz whether Barack Obama did or didn't vote "correctly" on the FISA Courts. I happen to think Obama voted the way he voted to Insulate the Democratic Party's ass against the usual "Soft-on-Stalin-Khruschev-Mao-Gorby-Osama-Willie-Horton-Speedy-Gonzalez" jive the GOP trots out every four years after Labor Day. That's because Barack's a Grown-Up. Feel me? Now go read about Sheldon: ttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheldon_Adelson

Don't believe an Red-Diaper nearly-never-was like Dr. Bawb? Try Samantha Power http://www.nybooks.com/articles/21670 who Obama 86ed for calling Hillary a "monster." Besides, why in THE HELL is Gore Vidal signing that Nation Magazine petition for when that very jackball BRAGS THAT HE HASN'T VOTED FOR YEARS! Swell Gore. You dissed my dad's friend decades ago who asked you a perfectly reasonable question at a Santa Monica Book-Signing. I shut down your shit bad manners then and got cussed out for it by my dad all the way home. He's long-gone and maybe you're not the flaming asshole you were that night. If you are, remember: We BOTH go regularly to Cedars-Sinai Hospital and I ain't lost one damn step.