"More charisma than guts."

Honest, I tried to watch Bush's LAST State of the Union. Your Revelator moodied back to ESPN's Oklahoma-Oklahoma State game; Hoops with ZERO rooting interest for me. Barack Obama applauding this Loosely Connected Nerve Net finished me off. It was worse than Pittsburgh Steeler HOF MLB Jack Lambert play kissy-face with the original, real Cleveland Browns. I treied cutting the smarm SOTU with two people from AirAmerica doing "Mystery Science Theater" meets
"Plan Nine From Outer Space" patter during the twaddle. No help. And so I fell off my self-imposed wagon and went in search of Christopher Hitchins' truly pathological hatred of nearly all things Clinton to wipe away my anomie.. The Hitch came through http://www.slate.com/toolbar.aspx?action=print&id=2182938

Advanced age is something like all those smooth rocks one finds on nearly any seashore: Enough time and water and jagged edges wear away. I don't hate Ronnie Reagan as I once did. Gipper was sincere in his monumental indifference for folks like me and my kids. Which is more than can be said for ANY Gip successor. The problem with sincerity in politicians can be summed up in Adolf Hitler's "Mein Kampf" [which, for you Trivia Fans, was first translated into English for his Stanford Ph.D. by future California Senator Alan Cranston]. While in Spandau Prison in 1922-3, Hitler dictated to Rudy Hess exactly what he would do if he ever became Chancellor of Germany. No one can say Hitler was not sincere about keeping his campaign promises.

And the point? Does Barack Obama, like Gip or Hitler, have the courage of his convictions? Does Barack actually HAVE courage and/or convictions? We're up to there with Works in Progress.

"I'm not addicted, I just like em!!!"

was often used by Phil Forbes, the Benny-King who lived rent-free in exchange for janitorial duties in the basement of the UCLA Religious Conference Building. That building was razed 40-years ago along with several successive Who-Remembers-Or-Cares-Why structures that occupied that ungawdly expensive plot of Westwood, CA land. On the other hand, who but Phil Forbes could be a better Bust-Proof dealer for the finest in Uppers, Downers and then-legal LSD? For all I know, Forbes' best customers were UCLA cops, the LAPD, Nobel Laureates, A-list Celebs and sundry Pols. JEdgar Hoover probably had a File on Phil Forbes - along with everyone Phil ever knew

I made Forbes' cut only because UCLA's other Spaz, Doug Pearson [also a Shrink], was entirely too serious and well-educated to believe LSD might cure Cerebral Palsy. I'm a year or so younger than Doug, roughly "as Spaz" and also knew Phil Forbes to be a happy go lucky Johnny Appleseed-style halfwit who, Ford knows why, wanted Dibs on making medical history with his joyfyl "Sleep!-Wake!-Sleep!-Wake!" technique. And so I became "the right Spaz for the right job."

At this point, Doctor Bawb must clarify some things, among which are: "Phil Forbes" is not the "Bennie King's" name although he and dealing pills at the old UCLA URC are the real thing. Doug Pearson, Ph.D. is utterly real and a terrific guy: "Are you two brothers?" was the deadly serious question asked of us decades ago by a French exchange student who then fled our uncontrollable laughter. Finally, we Cerebral Palsied are as varied as the Gen-Pop: one Strong-as-Schwarzenegger CP client showed up generally pissed-off, blind drunk then pulled a blade on me: my Self-Control Freak switched on instantly. In short, we ain't necessarily "endowed" and I am one luck o' the draw, fortunate sumbitch! This understood, WHY, short of being a Spaz, polysyllabic, do I have a wish-going-on-need to see Hillary Rodham Clinton's head explode?

My late dad voted Democratic but rarely for a winning primary candidate. I have never not voted. Dick Nixon, who with Robin Williams, Pryor and

Gilda Radner made my quartet of fave '70s comic. Came Cambodia. I have since marched with few to zip dollops of whimsy. Today I read half a book of his: Imperial Hearst, copyright 1936 - two years before I showed up. Citizen Kane's among filmdom's greats, right? Mos' def! Orson Welles "did" Hearst, so that's yesterday's news, right? Hold it!

Welles and RKO had to avoid lawsuits; great as Kane is, it's a flick NOT a book by Ferdinand Lundberg with a forward by Charles A. Beard, among the truly great 20th C. historians. Beard's words are infinitely more eloquent than mine:

"...Hearst despite all the uproar he has made and all the power

he wields is a colossal failure and now [past 70] holds in his

hands the dust and ashes of defeat. He will depart loved by few

and respected by none whose respect is worthy of respect..."

Welles' movie could not show how a vigorous Hearst played Republican McKinley against Democrat Bryan. How the Spanish-American War was a farce played to increase Cuban and Phillipine real estate value and how the sinking of the Maine can be circumstantially tied to Hearst himself. Today we have Rupert Murdoch and Faux Noise. Guess who hosted an Hillary Clinton fund-raiser in May, 2006? You DID say Rupert Murdoch, right?

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/05/09/politics/main1600694.shtml

BINGEAUX!

Today is my Bride's birthday, and so I brought cake enough for all Residents and Staff.

Today is my Bride's birthday, and so I brought cake enough for all Residents and Staff. Today is my Bride's birthday, and so I brought cake enough for all Residents and Staff. Chocolate fudge, decorated elegantly by the bright, middle-aged Chicano man who had me print "M A X I NE" on his legal notepad and smiled "correcto!" before writing Happy Birthday! in white icing and elegant penmanship across the cake's shiney, dark, roseate-covered top. MWTC'sface lights up happily as usual. Her syntax remains scrambled and hopelessly indecipherable. Still she called me by name once:"Robert" is clear, distinct and the first time she identifies me in six visits over a nearly three week period. This glimpse of My Bride of 38-years through her Alzheimer's cloud and taking my hand in hers sends me home gratified (Why?) and thankful (For what?). But the feeling remains through this moment, hours afterward.Coincidentally actress Julie Christie has won the Golden Globes Best Actress Award for portraying an Alzheimer's-stricken wife in"Away From Her." during the past week. The coincidence is greater because my Blog reveals me as a sucker for every Julie Christie movie ever made" My fandom began in 1963 with "Billy Liar" her first movie made years before MWTC and I met: my Avatar is that very Video's cover. Recently my First-Born told me "Billy Liar" was on cable TV. The same young, happy Julie Christie but the plot is far darker than I'd recalled. Plus I was then and continue to be a Bullshit Artist as opposed to being a pathologic liar. A tyrannical conscience, my 'Self-Control Freak' and growing up with a brutally honest dad, then afterwards 38-years with my equally truth-telling bride saved me from Pathologies 'X' but lowered my immunity to Pathologies 'Y.' Nothing worth having comes free.MWTC was on the Easter Seal Society's State Board of Directors when we married in 1970 and completed the second of her two terms. Shortly after this she was chosen as California Delegate to the White House's ceremony for National Hire the Disabled Month. MWTC declined. Shocked, her fellow Board Members asked her why. "I know Maxine," replied MWTC."And I know that when I shake Mr. Nixon's hand I will ask him: 'Why are we having Hire the Disabled Month when we're in Vietnam creating disabled people?' Going myself I'd say that. Going as your Delegate I refuse to embarrass you.

"Aside from helping make me a better guy than anyone had reasons to predict from jump, MWTC helped me to concentrate on things which were or are within my control and to live, however reluctantly, with what is beyond controlling: Alzheimer's; Iraq; Clinton-Bush-Cheney stupidity; Sub-prime disaster; the Pittsburgh Steelers dying like dogs in the playoffs. They tell me Rush Limbaugh's a big-time Steeler fan - which reminds me: I don't drink or dope. Two outta three ain't bad

Busty Billboard Divorce Law, $4.00 Microscopes, and one more reason AOL outsources to India.

Chicago Law removed this billboard some months ago for, dispsaraging the dignity of Chi-town Divorce Lawyers, Shrinks, Family Counselors and maybe whores in general. I like the thoughts expressed even as a married, over-the-hill Shrink who loves his sweet wife, his kids and has been staring for some years down the gun-barrel of mortality's .45 Glock Automatic. But so must we all at one point or another. I'd bet the Cook County Bar Association wasn't thinking Family Sancity First! when preparing it's Cease-and-Desist Order versus the entrepeneurship of the curvacious lady who stands akimbo in front of her advertisement for herself.

Fees-For-Service from L.A. Divorce Law and Divorce Law everywhere go in large part towards paying tuition fees charged by their own kids' private schools and universities. Doctor Bawb himself is fogey-enough to be a product of the California public school system. It was never a great system but for all it's failings, inefficiencies and Dumbth-in-General it worked! Then came California's Governor Ronald Reagan and the United States public school system, older than the Nation itself, began its Long Goodbye journey straight to hell.


So exactly what WILL life in the USA be like when reading ends? Kinda like it is now, just more crowded. Here in LA, goes a bad, inaccurate joke, 60% of everyone is working on a TV script. Those who can't read or write RAP! But the Original Rappers have been replaced by Rappers pretending to be illiterate. Truly De-Schooled US youth once sat behind bullet-proof glass booths at 24-Hour Serve-Youself gas stations. Big Oil then figured out that "illegals" will do the same things for less per hour. I haven't checked Education Levels of the self-appointed "Minute Men" who guard our southern borders but a Dissertation's awaiting someone.

Why can't U.S. AOL Customers who need help reach our own vast pool of bright De-Schoolers? Because US De-Schoolers are so busy trying to pass tests required by "No Child Left Behind" they CAN'T HELP! Thus we who need help reach eager young people in India who CAN HELP! How'd kids in India get so smart? Well they arent. Honest! Trust a Shrink here. Charles Murray's "Bell Curve" idiocy aside, consider the $4.00 Microscope from India. "[The Microscope] has opened up a whole new world for these children who could never have imagined an ant's tiny antennae or that a dragonfly's wings contain such beautiful patterns and colors." This while U.S. children dream of X-Box updates. Oh; 'They hate us for our freedom!"

http://www.nature.com/nm/journal/v13/n10/full/nm1007-1128a.html.

And so we come full circle: Back to the busty Chicago Divorce Lawyer whose billboard was scrapped by the Cook County Bar Ethics folks. No doubt this was applauded by the Family Values honks - none of which players have a truly functioning U.S. Public Education system close their goals. Hillary AND Barack each can afford a good private education for their respecctive kids. Nothing wrong;. I'd do as much for mine. BTW which President n my lifetime HASN'T been "The Education President?"

My kids were jerked around by a dumbass system when my sweet bride, their only mom, developed Alzheimer's Disease. Luckly, Poppa hadn't forgotten his public education. I'll tutor them for their SAT's. They'll be fine. It'll keep me outta pool-halls too. It's the kids without public school educated people around who worry me.

Dear John and Barack. I am not a Conspiracy Theory nut. But where the hell was Kucinich last night?

Common Wisdom has it that a Cocker Spaniel could beat the GOP next November. Remember November 2000 (and December and January 2001?)Back then the GOP beat Vice-President, now Nobel Laureate Al Gore with a Shih-tzu and a Chancellor? This isn't to say the 43rd President is a Shih-tzu. He's brighter and a son of the 41st President. Semi-literate U. S. Presdents are not new:
Zachary Taylor was one. Warren G. Harding in 1920 might have been another. The Devilishly handsome Harding won big in the first Only Prez election where women could vote. In elections since, women have mostly redeemed themselves from that first Shock and Awe.


Remember when Justice Sandra Day O'Connor resigned fom the U.S. Supreme Court? This happened while Chancellor Cheney's personal Pit-Crew was busy changing his Motion-Sensors and recharging his Death-Ray Faser. Our President, left to his own devices, nominated White House Advisor and personal lawyer Harriet Miers to replace Justice O'Connor. Miers never made her Senate Confirmation hearing. Then-Judiciary Chairman Arlen Spector was underwhelmed by Miers' ability to pour piss outta the Presidential Boot. Given the preliminary form required of ANY lawyer nominated to ANY judgeship, Miers was unable to complete hers. What Miers did fill out was called by Spector "embarrassing." Our Chancellor's Pit-Stop over, Meirs got The Hook, John Roberts batted for O'Connor. Then: Bill Rehnquist Out, Sam Alito In. All's well that ends Far Right!

Which brings Dr. Bawb to last night's Democratic bore- AKA Debate -by the cream of MSNBC's Gravitas-Meisters. But YOU, John Edwards! Mygawd: Dennis Kucinich was excluded from participating just 45-minutes before the debate's start by Nevada's Court of Appeals. I was fresh from UCLA's Dental Clinic, shot the hell up with enough Novicaine to satisfy half the Crackheads who hang by my down-the-block 7-11. This, I thought accounted for boredom with that Vegas love-fest EVEN with Hillary - OUR MAGGIE THATCHER - smirking next to you and Barack. No damn way!!

I'm a Pittsburgh Steeler lifer. Dennis was once Cleveland's Mayor who, I'd wager, grew up cheering for the Brownzos before they became the Baltimore Ratbirds. Only Dennis speaks for COUNTERPOINT from the potential 24-years of Bush-Clinton Crapola! HEY: if Dennis looked like Dennis and spoke like....well, ME, today he'd be Head Guard at Cleveland's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! In 2000, Tony Scalia appointed a Shih-Tzu President. Last night you never called Hillary and her MSNBC booster-Child Tim Russert out!

Hey, you're still my guy, assuming you and Barack really CAN'T be bought. Like, you know: Bill Clinton's Spine. But no one's perfect.

"Look, Bill! There's a White Tornado in Michelle Obama's kitchen!!!!!"

"EXTLA! White Tohnado Reave Michelle Obama Kitchen! Head To China! Wah-Maht Supah-Stohs Make BIG Tahget! You RIKE!"

Let's tear away MSNBC's Chris Matthews screeching that New Hampshire's vote is a bigger upset than Truman beating Dewey in 1948, touch on the unspeakable (Hillo GOT MORE VOTES THAN Barack Obama) and consider news far, far from Matthews Universal Time: China's declared war on White Pollution!

I find this way more engrossing than Tuesday's mud wallow. Out of sight between San Fransico and Hawaii in no-man's-land is a Twice-the-Size-of-Texas 3.5-million ton stew of plastic trash called the Great Pacific Garbage Patch http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2007/10/19/SS6JS8RH0.DTL&type=politics. Sea turtles mistake clear plastic bags for Jellyfish. Birds swoop down to swallow indigestable shards of plastic - 98% of which begins its journey to the Garbage Patch as on-shore beach front litter. Should birds and sea mammals survive that, their stomachs fill with plastic and starvation follows. Natural decomposition of most of this toxic contintinent is measured by decades if not longer.

Cleaning up isn't an option. Best case scenario? Do no more harm. With winds blowing and circular ocean currents, it's the perfect place for trapping what we don't need. Greenpeace has watched the Garbage Patch grow for over 10-years and compiled a 2006 Report
"Plastic Pollution in Our Oceans." Alarmed, the California Coastal Commission introduced a decently regorous set of proposed beach anti-litter laws. These died fast thanks to lobbyists from the Plastics Industry.

So let's hear it for the Chinese War on White Pollution - which is what they call plastic polution. AND NO,I DON'T WANNA LIVE THERE EITHER by the way! Waiters in Chinese Restarants used to get all impatient with me trying to stammer-out the names of the dish or dishes I wanted to order: "What you lound-eye fliend say?" Chinese waiters would snap at anyone I happened to be sitting with or near. "I no undahstand him! He got dollah to pay to eat?" Pissed me off enough to imitate, verbally and in writing, the occasional brusque rudenesses of these rushed and underpaid Oriental minions. Hey - I'm an old fart now and way more patient. I'm disgustingly polite too. Amazingly, so are they. So here's the proposition:

China sics it's Plastic-Bag War on Wal-Mart, I don't write any more racist tasteless phonetics of Chinese Engrish - sorry, ENGLISH! Deal? I mean try to get that good outta Chris Matthews or any damn GOP- or Dem Candidate "handler!'http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2008/01/10/BUMSUC52A.DTL&type=printable

Hillary and the "Do The Right Thing" factor

The Blog that explains a complex world from A to B!
"No adjective but 'BITCHIN'!' will do." - Gore Vidal

24-hours after Hillary Clinton finished a distant third (THIRD!) to Barack Obama in the Iowa Caucuses my inner-Roger Stone prankster (right) began to rev like.........well, the real Roger Stone's. Only he's gotten rich and infamous as a dedicated GOP dirty-trickster. My stuff's been limited to a way exagerrated chainsaw stutter complete with unblinking eye-contact. This to buy beer for my Homies at age 16, get in free to sold-out NFL games, get out of dead-to-right speeding tickets whenever stopped by some unsuspecting and rookie Highway Patrolman. I'm a dilletante who can't keep a straight face. Roger is dedicated. He BELIEVES in his crapola, I can't believe anyone would mistake my crapola for legit more than 30 seconds.

But what WOULD Roger do for Hillary after her corn-fed, Triple-Lutz pratfall yesterday? With 96-hours and counting until New Hampshire? 30-days until February 5 and all the really big states holding their primaries? David Crowley in todays on-line NEW REPUBLIC story described the sweaty desperation aboard the Clinton plane as they flew toward New Hampshire with their chances at roughly three: SLIM! NONE! and FAT!
http://www.tnr.com/toc/story.html?id=99fbca21-44b2-4da9-8e2c-0bb32994f0c1

Hold it, Crowley. You cited TNR's very own John Judis' article of 12/18/07 "Hillary Clinton's Firewall" and then skated right past it! Judis cites Tanya Hernandez, a Law School prof at Georgetown University has recently argued that a far older prejudice against Blacks exists in the larger Hispanic commujnities. Which is to say places like Los Angeles, Houston, Philadelphia and New York City. Further, a Duke University study of the same communities associates black males with traits such as "loud," "unmannerly," "antagonistic," "dark-skinned" and "threatening." These folks work every day with Black folks - but they DON'T wan't their kids marrying any.
http://www.tnr.com/politics/story.html?id=314e8fae-3fd3-4af2-bfde-f0f8e069c1fe.

My friend, a pollster who shall go unnamed, once defined a fundemental difference between the two major political parties: "Both will screw you as fast as look at you, but the Republicans seem to enjoy it a lot more." I am an on-the-wagon Gambling Sicko who once got humiliatingly over my head in high-school betting football point-spreads. Thus I haven't bought so much as a Dollar Lotto Ticket in over 50-years. But what's the bet one or more DLC Roger Stone manque's have already ordered ooh-gobs of Spanish Language........"stuff?"

Last thought: This Sunday night HBO premiers its final season of "The Wire" - IMO a mere half-length behind "The Sopranos" for brilliant TV production qualities. Never been to Baltimore but so what? Interchangeable crack dealers work LA, NYC, Philly and Houston too. If some Friend of Billo's at HBO hasn't already called in a favor for Hillary's 11th-hour "Do The Right Thing" strategy, count on the GOP's Roger Stone to do his magic in the closing weeks of October, 2008. Yeah - it's THAT important.

"I'm sorry but pain-killers are not normally given to our Extra Ankle-Bone patients."

Some years ago on a Pittsburgh Steeler Message Board, I attempted to explain then-QB Kordell Stewart's endless mediocrity. It was due to Kordell's lack of an Extra Ankle-Bone natural to the anatomy of great black QBs like the Eagles' Donovan McNabb. Even though MRIs had revealed one of my twin boys had his Extra Ankle-Bone, I continued, tests showed the other boy did not. Hoping one day to become a Super Bowl Dad, that summer my son would undergo an Extra Ankle-Bone implant, thanks to the miracle of U.S. Sports Medicine.I seem to have been on the (no pun, please!) cutting-edge of current Emergency Room Medicine. Today's "Journal of the American Medical Association" finds in a study of 150,000 Emergency Rooms, black ER patients are significantly less likely to get pain medication than either white or hispanic ER patients. http://www.redorbit.com/modules/news/tools.php?tool=print&id=1200547.

"Well, isn't THAT special!" SNL's Church Lady might say. Not really, Church Lady.62 damn years after my fave Aunt Rose stepped out of character to suggest I not be allowed to go see allegedly racist flick "Song of the South" the Disney Corporation's got that forbidden Video scheduled for marketing in early 2009, AFTER the 2008 Presidential Election. Disney aint stupid. Neither are Hillo and Billo Clinton; their itty-bitty health plan, you'll recall, caved like a cheap suit before the Insurance Industry's "Harry and Louise" TV ads. Since Red State voters hate Insurance Weasels more than they'll ever hate either Clinton, all Billo had to do was what he does best: BULLSHIT! Enough "spleen." Zippedy-DAMN-doo-dah!