"Honey, I shrunk the Torah!"

Today being New Year's Day only for us Gregorian Calandar fans, I figured to lighten-up and show y'all that EVERYTHING Moses brought down from Mount Sinai now can be displayed on the head of a pin. My sweet wife - known to all as "MWTC" (My Wife the Christian) - was as Twice-Born as Author/Psychologist James Dobson ever dreamt of being. But Dobs and boozey counterpart Chris Hitchins would debate before their throngs at the 92-Street 'Y' Re the portents of this teeny meld of Religion and Science, MWTC would simply be fascinated and mildly amused. http://www.engadget.com/2007/12/24/scientists-inscribe-entire-bible-onto-pinhead/

Absent the way cool Catholics next door, MWTC played cheerful
"Shabbos Goy" for the rest of our PLEASE!-I-Can't-Turn-Off-My-Car's-Headlights-On-Friday-Night! Orthodox Jewish neighborhood. I was disqualified, having been born Jewish and remaining an
"Incomplete Jew" as the Dobsons, Ted Haggards and sundry Fundis are wont to say. Years after MWTC's Alzheimer's forced her into a Skilled Nursing Home the presence of our kids, ages 20, 16 and 16 is enough to keep some calling my digs
Der schvarzter haus.

No biggie: First thing I taught em how to do was "Walk and talk just like Poppa." Not just great shtick, but VERY useful once their friends start to ask: "Why does he walk and talk funny?"
"Cause he got hurt when he was born!" End of story. Kids want it straight and that's it. Worked for me as a Shrink, works for them as my kids. The rest, professional colleagues included, can go pee on their Guccis.